Meet the Characters
Winnie the Pooh- A huggable lovable bear of little brain. His main concern in life is eating enough honey and getting his money's worth at Old Country Buffet. He rooms with ex Detroit Lions running back Barry Sanders, and has a never-ending stash of money.
Piglet- In this world, Piglet is a girl. She is independently wealthy and one of the richest citizens in the Wood. She lives lavishly in a grand estate fasionably decorated. She drives a black Lexus SUV and plays the harp with the Hundred Acre Wood Symphony. Piglet is easily scared and likes to wear Prada, Gucci, Chanel and owns over 1700 pairs of shoes.
Tigger- Likes his babes horny, his beer flowing, and his sex raunchy. He lives in an apartment over Kanga's garage, and has worked a string of jobs, everywhere from Subway, running Carnival rides, and delivering pizzas. He frquents the Wood's strip joint T and A Cinnabuns.
Eeyore- Lives in a single wide trailer, drives an old 86 Cutlass, and works at the morgue. He is clinically depressed but does not believe in taking hippie-dippie drugs such as Prozac. He hasn't had sex in 6 years. His only highlight in life was a part in Rob Zombie's "Living Dead Girl" Video.
Rabbit- The gay guy. He lives with his lover Ramuegen who is a drag queen and male model. Rabbit has a green thumb and beautiful gardens. He aspires to have his own garden show on the home and garden channel. He and his lover also raise show dogs papillons, that place at the Westminster Dog Show.
Kanga- a hippie-dippie feel goody mom into pilates. soy milk, yoga, and breast feeding. She takes nutrtion classes and is always watching her brick shit house figure. She also has found Jesus and changes religions frequently. She has been everything from Hindu, Catholic, and Pentacostal. She is the loving mother of Roo.
Roo- A spoiled brat who never does what he is told. A waste of space. Constantly whining. Once brought a mail order bride to the wood.
Lumpy- Roo's foul mouthed heffalump friend with a heart of gold, and his mind in the gutter.
Christoper-Robin- An all american apple pie teenage boy coming to terms with raging hormones, Green Day, and masterbation. Loves working on his new silver pick up truck with jacked up tires.
Owl- A respected American History professor at Wayne State University. Likes good port, cigars, golf, and politics. Likes to date younger women.
Barry- Retired NFL running back Barry Sanders. He retired to the wood for a life of peace and quiet from nosy reporters such as Mitch Albom. Lives in a stunning townhome. Pooh is his roommate, hence the sign Mr. Sanders over the door.
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